Could you date a guy who still lives with his parents? user-pic Jessica Downey on 11.21.10 at 7:29 PM | no comments | user-pic Jessica Downey I love Sundays. Generally they are a pretty relaxing day for me. I drink a lot of coffee and write a lot. Sometimes I read and just try to relax. Actually, I am even known to cook a meal or two on Sundays. Another great thing is that Sundays are usually a great day for television, which is where I get to admit to watching some of the really lame shows that I actually watch. I tend to be drawn to MTV occasionally on the weekends. There is often a marathon of shows like True Life or Made and what can I say, I am a fan of those shows for the most part. Hey it's a little better than my addiction to Teen Mom. At any rate, earlier today I caught an episode of True Life which was about people who lived at home with their parents. I am pretty sure it's a fairly old episode of the show, but it's one that I hadn't watched before. On the show there was a guy who was 30-something and still lived with his mom. He openly admitted to being a mama's boy and said he just hadn't had the desire to move out yet. He also openly admitted that he's never had a serious girlfriend and that he thinks it would be a little difficult to bring a lady friend home to his mom's house. As I was watching the show, I started to think about that whole situation and I wondered if I could actually date a guy who still lived at home with his mom/parents. I am 30 and I have lived on my own since I was 21. Now, granted my parents helped me a little with rent while I was in college because it was cheaper than room and board on campus. But nevertheless I have lived away from my parents since the age of 21. That's a pretty long time of not dealing with parents for me. The only time I have ever dated a guy that still lived with his parents was when I was with Mr. BST. However, that wasn't exactly an intensely serious relationship. I think it would be a whole other thing to seriously date a guy that still lived with his parents. And honestly, I am not sure how excited I would be to be involved in that sort of situation. Bottom line is, I really don't think I could date a guy that lived with his parents. Honestly, I kind of wonder how serious you are about being serious with another person when you don't seem all that serious about your own life. I mean, how can you start a life with someone when you haven't technically even started your own life? Now, that might seem harsh and judgmental which is not how I mean it at all. I mean clearly I know there are exceptions to everything. If you read my blog you know I try to keep an open mind when dating. And I also believe that you should never say never. So there are definitely a few cases where the whole living with the parents thing is totally acceptable. Clearly if a guy lost his job and had to move back in with his parents that is a different story. It's also a totally different thing if one of his parents is sick or something. Again, I get there are exceptions and I wouldn't toss a guy aside the second that he told me that he lives with his parents. If he is this totally mature, ambitious and independent guy who just happens to live with his parents then perhaps I would be okay with that. However, if he goes on to say that he is a mama's boy and needs someone to do everything for him, then I'd have to pass. Sorry, but I really would. And it is definitely not a money or status thing either. He doesn't have to have some huge penthouse apartment in the heart of downtown Chicago. He also doesn't have to have some prestigious job. It's honestly not about any of that for me. I am just an independent, very overly ambitious and driven kind of girl. And I want to know the guy that I am dating is the same way. Read more: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/all-the-single-ladies/2010/11/could-you-date-a-guy-who-still-lives-with-his-parents.html#ixzz1QafAWweQ

lol@ amina naga qalee.. I am sure when somalis say nin they mean anyone, so the same thing would apply!

lmao@ they would suit my ayeeyo! that's harsh. The diracs on that link aint that bad

I don't want a guy who needs to be fixed user-pic Jessica Downey on 10.04.10 at 9:22 PM | 4 comments | I was chatting with a friend today about dating. He's a friend from Indiana who tends to get annoyed with the whole internet dating thing (hey, don't we all?) so a lot of times that's where our conversations lead. Sometimes he feels frustrated when he sends a message to a woman and she doesn't respond. Forgive me here because I am paraphrasing since I don't remember the exact way he phrased it but apparently another friend once told him that maybe he's a little too put together. You know, it kind of goes with that idea that women want a man that they can change or fix. Now, this could be the case with the guy. I have seen some of the messages he sends and read over his profile. And I can definitely tell you that he looks like a put together guy (not that it's a bad thing because it's not). I mean, his stuff is spelled and punctuated correctly and everything. I know there are women out there who date guys who they can fix. And I am not just talking about a guy's fashion sense but rather their emotions. Sometimes even morals and values. I will confess that it's something I was guilty of when I was younger. It is also something that I learned a lot from. And, I have to tell you that when it comes to having an actual real relationship, it just doesn't make sense to me. When I was in college I used to date all the bad boys. I mean, half the guys I dated didn't even have a driver's license and it was usually from a DUI. I also dated more than my share of guys that were addicted to something. It was usually pain pills. I actually dated a guy who stole my parents credit card. Yeah, that was awesome. Then, of course, there was Mr. BST who was a total mess emotionally. All these guys seems to need me on some level or I guess I thought the needed a girl like me. I thought they needed to be fixed. I thought I could fix them. Though technically, for me, I don't think it was really about fixing them, it was just nice to be needed. I mean who doesn't like the feeling of being needed? Here's the thing though, situations like that never work and that's not the reason you should ever want to date someone. Don't get me wrong here, I am not saying if your significant other gets into trouble that you shouldn't help them because clearly you should. I am just saying the trouble a guy is experiencing shouldn't fuel your desire to date him. And the satisfaction you get from a relationship shouldn't be from fixing a person. That's just a recipe for disaster. Eventually I grew up a little and realized that those types of relationships do more harm to me than anything. Honestly, they do more harm than any satisfaction from helping anyone could ever undo. It's exhausting a and mentally draining. And down right pointless. Clearly I know that there is always room for growth and with growth sometimes comes a little change. However, that's totally different from someone who needs to be fixed. I also know that people usually come with some kind of baggage . After all, we have all had painful break ups and many people have experienced other types of tragedies. Those are things that will always be a part of you but it's a totally different story if you are leading some kind of destructive lifestyle. I know that relationships are not an exact science and there will always be things that you have to work through. I am just saying I want a guy who has his shit together. And when I say "has his shit together" I don't necessarily mean a guy who has a great job and makes lots of money. Though, he should be employed unless he has a good reason (like the crappy economy). No, I mean everything. Call me crazy but I don't want to waste my time fixing a guy. I would much rather spend my time with a great guy who is already put together. Read more: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/all-the-single-ladies/2010/10/i-dont-want-a-guy-who-needs-to-be-fixed.html#ixzz1QXWvWC71

^^LOOOOOOOOOOOL that is some funny maahmaah right there...

Abuur iyo waano abuur baa horeeyey. af jooga loma adeego nin tag lama dhahee wuxu ku tago ba la tusa (lmao so trueeee) balaayo kasii jeeda la iskuma soo jeedso ma waxan ku mooday, mise waxaad noqotay, mise waxaan loo noqon doonin doqon iyo habeen ba madow (lol the funniest one of all ) gabadh ama god ha ku jirto ama guri (soo sexist!) naag been ba lugu so xero galiya run ba lugu dhaqa ( I never get this maahmaah) nin hadu iskuka waalo wa la isla waala ( I love this one even though I kinda believe nin hadu iskuka waalo wa laga caraaba hahah) thats all i can think of now

Been hadii sheegeysid, been dacas qabto lee sheeg. lmao what does that even mean..I heard been hadaad shegasid been run u eeg sheeg..macnuhu ma intaas uun baa.. I know many mahmaahs, but I have never differentiated them to be reer xamar or otherwise. I just know them as somali maahmaah..

Mashallah. Congrats to her! Wishing her all the best.

who cares whether london_2010 is somali or not.

^ you don't expect much from someone who wants to support somaliland blindly. Clearly, Suldaanka and Duke are not that different. Dukena wuxu raba in uu ka dhadhicyo puntland baa SSC u fiican yago dun irbad u galineen. Suldaankana asago og in la xasuuqayo umad ayuu raba in uu iska indha tiro...oo dhoho saado baa qabilesate ah. Marka asagu u sacabinayo umad qaldan. Doesn't that make him qabileste? yaa burco ama hargaisa ku haysata..dad leh magaloyinkeega ii dhaaf markay qabileste noqdeen? talow kuwa xaq kale raba maxay noqonayan?? wa yaab! salaam

Saado is not against hargaisa as u put it (as you yourself noted she had kids from there not to mention she stood by the somalilanders if u know ur history)..all she wants now is that the SSC state to be left alone to take care of their affairs. Likewise, somaliland can take care of their business in their cities (n everyone knows waxay xaq u leeyihiin). If that is hard to understand then maybe you got some clannish issues..(n clearly anyone who has hard time understanding that is qabileste...oo xaqdarada somaliland wado raba in uu ugu sacabiyo kaasna wa meshiisa) n her assets are none of your business..edab yeelo! salaam

lol@ Liban!..you nailed it!

suldaanka waxba afkaaga saado cali hala soo doonan..Keep singing for somaliland aduu!... I am sure few years back when she was singing for reer somaliland happy baad ku aheede.. Duke iyo adiguna the only reason aad ssc state uu macna tirasaan wa qabiil..marka qabyaalad meshay nigeenaso aan aragno! SSC statena ma aha mid bosaso ama hargaisa rabta, wa mid rabta in ay magaloyinkooda uun maamulato..intaasna hadaad xasidasaan wa sheko ni taala.. salaam

Zack kan wixi laga filayey iyo sidu noqday ismalaha...walee I have learned a valuable lesson!..waxkasta ood aragtid waxbaad ka baran! in uu machine yahayna waan u jeeda lol I put all this effort on my post and asked so many questions he answers none and I am like answering his questions one by one ..anaaba ka daran LOL

Kitaabka Saado Ali is different though, right? Duke, anuu ma anaaba diday in aan saado cali tageersanahay..laakin saado cali somaliwayn oo dhan u hadasha ma aha qabiileste...******, somaliland, ssc waxo dhan way u hadashay..marka hadaan tageeray wax ka qadlan kuma jiro.. laakin aduu kii qabiilkaagaba u dhashay durbaan u tun..wax kale ileen ma taqanide.. salaam

xaglatoosiye iyo saado cali bay kaga dhagtay odeygan. Labada qof oo xita wax aflagadeen ah subclankiisa u geesan. Waxa kaliya uu xasidayo waa mamulka gaarka ee sameesteen.. xaasidsana wuxu.. tan kale he answered none of the questions I put forward on my post cuz he knows he has nothing to say.. salaam

lol no problem girl. Anyways, the thread was for the marxuumka. I might have got carried away with my posts it was probably not the best place to give my opinions abt the somali community... alle ha u naxaristo again! oo eheladiisa sabar iyo imaan haka siiyo.

The rest of us can come across as clever and whatnot - Only forgetting one can never say, they are complete... You are absolutely right ..we are only human beings and we can never be complete. We all have our shortcomings! I do hope Allah guides all of us inshallah to the right path and make us among the righteous. salaam

loool malika marbaan ka cabsaday see weeye, don't scare me like that dee..especially with ur comment .."im not done with you" n sis I know people can interpret something differently. But, I don't understand how my phrase "non-muslim" did not catch the ppl's attention..and you guys couldnt see beyond the term black lol. anyways, dhib ma leh if u guys misunderstood my comments... ameen to your du'a again..ducada hala badiyo salaam

I don't see anything wrong with my posts. And, no my posts don't come across as anti-black..so we will just agree to disagree. salaam

Somaliland yaduba xaqdaro ee wada ee taas dib isugu laabo..

lol Zack. I already pointed out in the other thread that Duke's support for this man is not abt him being educated...intaas oo nin oo tfg ku jira oo ninba ninka kale ka waxbarasho wacanyahay ayuu kasoo hor jeda..xita hadaan galaydh example uso qato duko oo wax fican ka shegaya arki meesid. in uu qabiil uun daneeyo way iska cadahay aan isku xijin kan. Bilan okey cool. salaam

lol you spend all that time to repost what I wrote, shaqa la'aanti ba ka badatay.. Yes I was talking about non-muslim black guys...and I chose black guys in particular because it is the trend nowadays for somali girls who are growing up in the ghetto to have kids out of wedlock with black guys. And, that does not make me racist, I am just talking abt the reality that is taking place now... Taleex some ppl seem to have too much time in their hands that they just want to argue about anything and everything... salaam p.s. the keyterm here was non-muslim..I am sure somalis are muslim black ppl. I might not have repeated teh phrase "non-muslim" throughtout all my posts given that I took it for granted that u lot would understand who I am referring to..laakin saan filayo dadka qaar waxkasta waxay rabaan far wawayn in logu qoro ileen waxay ka hadlaan oo ka murmaan iska rabaane..

posted by Zack, P.s. why are u defending the TFG all of the sudden? LOL why else? his cousin from puntland is the new pm. salaam

Since they are crying after some borders that was made by the british government I am assuming they would prefer to be under the British colony. Otherwise, they would have been happy with their three cities, and would not have occupied by force lands that aint theirs.. salaam